A Nocturnal Reverie

Monday, March 12, 20078:31 PM♥

More often than not, one's wish or desire for peace has a tendency to be rather abstract, where most of us do not know what to do or where to begin..

To no.33,
i could find no better way to express the kind of feelin' ive been holding on. in a nicest way, ive explained to u. in the worst way, ive told u off. i do not want to communicate to u through my hp. frankly speakin', i find that too personal. ive tried to explain to u through email, through your friends, through anything.. but u just wont let me off.. THIS IS MY LAST RESORT. not trying to put you down, but i hope u understand how much i need you to be more considerate.

LAST NIGHT.
Became very exhausted and decided to turn in at 2am. like finally. not sure if this happens to everyone, but i have the habit of tossing around first before i can sleep. actually its not exactly like that, and i cant figure the exact words to explain. the bottom line is, i just cant sleep straight away. and when i finally shut my eyes, no.33's sms woke me up. ever since once-upon-a-time-day, ive already ignored him. obviously, i did not bother much about his messages. tried to slp back, but more messages came in. one after another. my hp was apparently FLOODED BY YOU. i wouldn be this angry if u could let me off. i still didnt want to entertain him, but his messages flooded me from 230 to 3am. how irritating? try this people. u are so damn tired and u want to slp, and when u finally slp, your hp rings, not once. ok,i dont have to emphasize on it. why didn i switch off my hp? trust me,i wished i could turn it off everyday. goodness sake dont allow me to. since 13, ive depended on my hp to wake me up. and this particular phone's alarm wont be activated if its off. further more, ive to keep it on, for project and emergency purposes. damn. at 245am, i wanted to throw my hp away.. i was pissed with myself as i had left with 3 hours of sleep and i was worried about my presentation which took place this morning. i then called j.l for s.o.s.

his messages were all about love. how much he loved me, loves me and is loving me now. TO YOU: ive told u many times, dont do this to me. i will never NEVER never NEVER NEVER NEVER feel the same way as u do. FOREVER. its not because i have a religion to commit to. but its just because IT IS YOU. im sorry. but so many times ive told u, cant u just understand? for this, i hope u will really let me off. . wanted to stay as friends so i was a lil nicer to you. but u took it for granted and u think i still have feelings for you. now, i guess we are better off to be strangers again. strangers whom when we pass by each other, can still smile.. other than that, i cant fulfill it. i dont wanna make another mistake. i bet u already understood those highly stressful and painful days of mine. prior to that, it was the worst time in life so far. . u knew it then, but u did nothing. u know it now, but sorry, u can do nothing either.. its too late. even if its not because of time, u will not even cross my mind now. stop thinking im doing this out of revenge. if u know me well, u know i woudnt do this. there are too many better ways for revenge. revenge aint important to me. lastly, im seeing someone else already and u dont have to know who. im sorry. i do not wish to hurt you but i have left with no choice. please please let me off. dont make me my change my number. ive did it twice because of you. it wouldnt be this bad if u know your limits.

the world today is still plagued by violence,dispute, mistrust and hatred.
& i by no means wish to contribute to this..

argh. :( super emo.