A Nocturnal Reverie

Sunday, March 18, 20075:09 PM♥

In a man's world, we do not impress...

Every boy/girl knows, practically from birth, that being "short" is nearly as bad as being a dwarf, and closely related at that. Call a man "little", and he is understood to be demeaned. The bias against short men hurts them. It does hurt me too, in a way or two. Height discrimination begins from the moment human beings become vertical. Humans are practical.

Height matters and everyone know this.
It is little wonder, then, that when people meet a famous woman they so often say, "I expected her to be taller." If you still doubt that height matters, look around. At the palaces, you will see door knockers above eye level: the better to make callers on the king (who was, in fact, decidedly short) feel, literally, lowly. Or sit across from your bosslady in her office, and see who has the higher chair. In the cinema, if you happen to sit behind a taller person, you will only find yourself frowning throughout the whole show. Once, i was waiting inside the car, at the driver's seat... and i dont know how, but i managed to freak my instructor out. He said, " from behind i see nobody in the car u know!? then suddenly u are here.." i just told him, " cos im short ma..hai."

Perhaps heightism is just a western cultural prejudice? Sadly not. Ive done my research. In Chinese surveys, young men always rate stature high among qualifications for a future mate. Indeed, the prejudice appears to be universal.
It is not hard to guess why human beings tend instinctively to defer to height. Humans evolved in an environment where size and appearances and good health, to which they are closely related mattered, especially for men.
Indeed, they still matter now.

When people look at me and try to guess my age, some will say I am 15, 14, or even 13. None of these guesses are even close.
How many times must people tell me im short to remind me that im short? Looks like shortness is a major concern for singaporeans, especially guys.
guy A, " if u were taller, i would have asked you to be my gf straight away."
guy B, " ten years later, i be back to check on you."
guy C, " too bad you are so short, if not, i would have hang out with you more often."

trust me, there are more. sometimes, i just couldnt tell if they are just kidding or not. whether they have good intentions there or not..

Can i just fess' up that i really hate being so short? As i grow older, i feel shorter. Do not tell me to do anything about it, cos' i have been doing it, but to no avail, im still the same. I always feel inferior going out with people. I feel even much shorter going crowded places.. and no taller people can fathom this.
You can tell me, " being short is ok what.. u still have your chasers.." but to me, i guess that the chasers do not have any other better choices, thats why me.

Yesterday,
dad came to me and said, " eh, go on date lar.. dont paiseh paiseh lar. 19 already this year still no bf...i wont scold you one lar...".
i answered, " papa, u always said nobody will like short girls what.."
he replied, " its because of that, u dont dare to make friends? "
i answered, " i dont dare to go out with guys better than me.. and its not easy to find guys who will appreciate my height la pa.."
he replied, " then i must intro u to my friends' son.."

i walked away.

In all my life (so far), I have been teased, ignored, and even attacked a few times because of my height. If that is not bad enough, some people even mistake me for a dwarf. Let's get one thing straight: a dwarf is a person under four feet who looks like an adult, and probably has the same weight as an adult of average height. These people probably will never grow any taller. Am i one?

However, I have often become discouraged, because with the oppression faced in the little life I have lived, its unimaginable what the rest of my life will be like. This is what a simple name calling and harassment can do to a person. Whoever said, "Sticks, stones and papers can break my bones, but words can never hurt me," were wrong. Words hurt. They sometimes hurt more than any physical pain. A punch may bruise the surface of one's skin, but words go straight to the heart.

The worst parts are yet to be told.

Plenty of short individuals like myself have been denied jobs because they are short, even if they are qualified for the job, and the company is hiring. The employer probably thinks that a person who is short is not strong enough to do a job correctly. They are not tall enough to look over the counter, not tall enough to reach the shelves, not tall enough to hang the clothes or not mature enough to handle the responsibility of a job. Give a job recruitor 2 resumes. a & b both looked alike. a & b are equally educated and experieced. BUT, a is taller. who eventually gets the job? Be serious, you dont have to crack your brain to answer this.

Im not a very shallow person, but i guess my vanity of my shortness kinda does make me. The biggest physical insecurity in me is my height. I have been living with this fear in me for 18 years and still counting..
Is there, then, no good news for short people? No: there is none.
And if, having read this far, you do not believe that height discrimination is serious, you are no doubt a tall person in the late stages of denial.

im just another short girl, trapped within the truth...