A Nocturnal Reverie

Monday, February 05, 20077:51 AM♥

HEALING HANDS I WANNA HAVE.
if only i can have the healing hands..

i wonder if all the nurses really have the passion to work. for me, being a nurse is more than the experience, more than a job. one got to really learn how to love, how to reach out to others. i was at sgh the other day. purpose was to visit someone suffering from bone cancer, 4th stage. turned weak immediately my eyes set upon her facial expression. though she was with a smile, i know she's holding on. she didnt want her family members who were beside her to worry much.. we spoke. she seemed helpless, yet her words were asking for hope. all that she said was, " xie xie ni de pang mang, ni hen you xin. xie xie ni". ( thank you very much, u are very kind hearted, thank you." ) i touched her hands.. and said to her, " auntie, u must stay strong."

next to her was a grandmother in her 80s. she was tied up in her bed. reason being, she moves too much and often get herself hurt. or shall i put it this way, she is mentally unstable. suddenly, i heard her cry.. and i moved to her side. i hear her out.. she was speaking in cantonese and i cant even understand a single word. i just nodded to show that i was listening. then she stopped crying..

minutes later, i saw lots of blood dripping from her hands to her clothings and bed.... they were flowing non-stop. without hesitation, i went to call the nurses.. one came slowly.. and she said, " she is always like that". in my heart, i wanted so much to tell the nurse, " since she is alwys like that, shouldn u have a better way out? what if i didnt call on u? who will be there to help? ".

still remember, my dream is to be a front line nurse/ nurse.. but will i be brave enough to witness life and death? to show so much concern for the patients yet seeing them go at last? i doubt so.

one thing im sure of is, im gon' do more volunteer work.

apart from this heavy heart, i wanna say thanks from the bottom of my heart to these people:

weihun - thanks for coming to sd anni. remember to call me once a week. :)
eugene - not sure if u ever visit my blog but thanks for coming to sd anni. thanks for the gift.. u went all the way down to get it for me.. rarely do i receive surprises like that.
minh tri - thanks for coming too.
kaile - we have strong telepathy.. thanks for telling me all that is going on. i promise i will be here. keep me updated. :)
jialun - thanks for driving me home.. thanks for everything!
thomas - your motivations for me to study are appreciated.
group members - WE WILL MAKE IT. thanks for all the efforts.
kenji - thanks for the cd. keeps me going on during the night.. :) thanks for being here so far.
charwin - one sentence from you, "anything, if its you, i will help". is enough to make me smile. :)