Wednesday, January 03, 200710:44 PM♥
friend chensu asked me to head down to tbsc (telok blangah) with her. . felt that i had a long gd sleep in the bus though it was only for about 10 mins , i realised. So now, im all in for sd (student division) anniversary show. under special group committee. whereby we will design & print the tickets, set a theme/slogan for the show, design the souvenirs, along with any other special programmes for the opening of the show. given this task, i felt challenged. this also means, i will be going down to tbsc every week. its gon be a struggle.. as, the subjects of my new semester in shatec will be a hell lot more complicating/busy than what i have been doing. projects will be expected. BUT, its gon' be a struggle which i can overcome. im all set for it.that's for my accomplishments.side-track a lil..many a times, i faltered due to the inertia to pick up my loss of confidence. i probably cannot do anything about being short, and even if i skip the ropes, there wont be alot of differences. it has been livin' in the genes of my family. the other day, i was at vivocity.. the mall itself is already spacious enough.. the crowd there looked as though they were ants fightin' a war.. the more i lost my confidence.. the whole world seemed to be crushin' me down, the people all looked tall, (yes,because im short) thus overpowerin' me. i felt small.
so why that inferiority?- people (be it friends or relatives) always say, " ya u know why? cos' u're short. "
- even if they dont mean it, they still tease.
- uses the words like, "vertically challenged" or "small size" or "little", as if they are a totally different meaning compared to "SHORT".
- alwys mistaken as a 12 year old girl.
- have difficulties reaching the top shelves. (ya la, u laugh. i see how much u have to bend down to the ground to pick your money up.)
hello, u call a handicapped a "physically challenged" but at the end of the day, they still mean the same. just that they are phrased in a nicer way. please dont tell me, its not. because, according to dictionary.com (the place u will be directed to if wrong password is entered when coming in here), vertically challenged means : –noun (used as a euphemism) short in stature. comprehend that?
sometimes, it doesnt mean that everything is ok when i keep that smile on. even when im teased, i can still smile along with u. but somehow, deep down, it doesnt feel good at all. i mean, how will u feel when the somethin' in u cannot be altered, yet people still emphasizes on it? also, it isnt nice for anyone to joke around with me about my height, even though ive accepted the dull fact. how do u feel exactly if u were short and i shout across the town, "hey dwarf! u still so short ar!? " (of cos, this has yet to happen to me.i hope it never will.) And, how do u feel if u were obviously poor but people ask," $500 only leh! why and how come cannot afford?! u sooo poor meh? my piggy bank in my drawer already $5000 ".also, how will u feel if u were a mute and your friends tell u, " oh ya ar, i forgot u are not deaf. u are just a mute". maybe, u cant feel, cos u arent in any of the categories stated above. still, can i ask this favour from you people to have that lil humanity in yourselves? try not to tease directly in the face of one. u want, u all can hold hands, go to the back and gossip..
we all live once. why not accept it and see it as a kind of beauty instead of imperfection? for this, im also telling myself to accept every human kind...
thanks jane for pickin' me up when i felt so small..