A Nocturnal Reverie

Thursday, November 30, 200611:09 PM♥

cant help myself.. just gon' take this chance and send some thoughts across.

for the worthed:

terence- u taught me pms, i got an A. u stayed and taught me maths. i appreciate.
eugene- u msged me out of no where.. told me not to worry about my maths. thanks alot. alwys there for me when im worried. somehow, u calmed my confusions. thanks..
samm- again, for clapping for me right in front of the class, from the beginning till the end and everything else.. <3
tri- thanks for everything.
sam yeo & joyce- for the completion of productivity project. ;)
thomas- u're the sunshine.
xingxian & jane- thanks for your encouragements. enjoy bali. ;(
amy- for going through remittance with me.
mr leo- ure my energy.i'll remember our promises.
han- over says:best fren stay so i'll stay forever ya - thanks han. i really love u.
douglas- pack my bag for egypt and i will consider to lend u my crumpler bag more often.

above were those who made my thursday complete.

apart from that, miss wells gon leave us. naively thought that wont happen. but i know, its for the good. im glad that i was her class representative, glad that once, my life crossed her's.
dangling modifier, faulty parrellism, misplaced modifier, comma splice, run-ons,fragments - all of these will be forgotten-not.

Wednesday, November 29, 200610:07 PM♥

pardon me.
wont be blogging for some time.
examinations are running my energy dry.
life can be a system i hate to live under.
but i hope, its just for NOW.
till thens when im seen here again.

Saturday, November 25, 200611:21 PM♥

wanted ds lite. but those feedback users gave,wasnt too positive.
thus, came this sony for me to eye on.
try not to tell me its nice. oh come on...

Friday, November 24, 20069:27 AM♥

one twenty seven.
all washed up, ready for the usual things.
not very glam, but just put that aside ok?

coussies yiyi, xingxian and jane.

she and i.

cute aint it?

oof~had a ridiculous amount of food taken hours ago. probably wasnt too satisfied with their taste so tried out and tried out... pitstop is the place. to eat there wouldnt be my reason to drop by. nevertheless, i love the games they bring in. laughters filled up the house. we couldnt get enough of the "meow" "woof" "meeehh" "quack" "moo" "kok-kok-gei" "ssssiii". jane was extremely pretty.carried out herself well today. inferiority i felt just by walkg beside her. damn. catchg up with xx n yiyi wasnt long enough. the fatique in us gave in.
darling weihun left for genting. will be missing her. had breakfast with her in the early morning. just by seeing her was heart warming enough to start off my day. but then brr.. the rain drenched me. no comment about this bad part.
i'll say, i had a good day despite the rain. n whenever i count my bless, i count those i mentioned in this entry, TWICE. love lots.

12:03 AM♥

a toast for the one and only. cheers!
HAPPY LEGALLY 18TH BIRTHDAY TO JANE NEO JIE YING!
coussie for 18 yrs and still counting. didnt know of her existence till 24th nov 1988. suddenly, by ties and our family tree, i had to call her my cousin.
in the past, i detested her.
when we danced, she boasted that she is better at it.
when we sang, she used up all her might to cover my voice with her chicken voice.
when we talked, she had to win me.
when we were taking exams in sch, she lied to me over the phone that she got full marks.
when it was my birthday, she wanted to blow my cake. wth!?
when we take photos, she had to fight with me just to get into a better position. (how irritating)
when she sleeps over, she snatched away my blanket to cover herself better, obviously leaving me under the cold.

all the above are just the highlights. doubt she will rem cos i was the victim, she was the wicked.
nevertheless, she changed drastically. im happy that i have her now...
jane, Im wishing you another year of laughter, joy and fun,Surprises, love and happiness.
Life calls with all of its duties,
yet for me,
one thing remains true:
It matters not where I am on this earth,
as long as I have you.
Cos you're there for me,
come rain or come shine,
when all is said and done!
Happy Birthday,I adore you!

many loves and warm wishes,
ur dear "kelly".
- those beautiful childhood days I do miss them in many ways-

Thursday, November 23, 200612:29 AM♥

The guys.
hope all of you are doing fine for your project too. after exams, YUM SENG! together.

The grp of us
together @ rosette, fine dining.

12:24 AM♥

presently, my groupmates for productivity project. named ourselves THE SIMILARS. reason being obvious enough.. samantha chu,samantha yeo. Joycelyn low,Jocelyn NG (myself).
im amazed by our own grp as individuals carry our own strengths and work efficiently.We carries elemental understanding towards one another and try all means to get the work right together.Never will i forget faza for helping us out when we have doubts,though she's not in our grp..thanks girls. i swear,proper lunch,proper slptime,movies,pepperlunch,aeroplane shows,camping-all of that could come later.Recently,we are working our arses off just to finish the project by friday. after which, the final exams are what we have to mug hard for, like once again. then,i wondered, like i had wondered many times before, why arent our results for semester 01 part 01 hsekeepg results out yet? what's taking them forever. here,we gon have our part 02 exams.. slow in service themselves, when the students are expected to be excellent in services, plus high expectations on everything else? FAIR not.

Tuesday, November 21, 20061:24 PM♥

upon browsing through, i saw this pic. ;)

Thursday, November 16, 20068:07 PM♥

ME

"well done jocelyn! u have one of the best results i had ever seen". mr bruno shook my hands and said. btw,its only 79. i confessed i wanted a better score.

"she's one of them". miss lai told miss wells when the latter asked if i top the class. i got 83,an A. i was elated,far above my expectation as i didnt really mug for the subject.

recently,im damped by some silence. but im not,as u seem to think,troubled by any haunting fears. perhaps, tired being the entertainer. tired of being always the one... pls be surprised that few of my closer ones dont even fathom me well. dont guess who,it might be u.

adding on to the stillness which returned to me, the increase of gst from 5% to 7% arent helping me at all. u people who dont pay your bills or come up with your own allowance probably wouldnt understand this.
before the government come knocking on my gate, i better stop here.
Though i really have much to say......
if i really cant take it, u will probably expect me at the speaker's corner which may turn me famous overnight.. that's if i dare.

- experiencing an ordeal,enough said. -

Tuesday, November 14, 200611:39 PM♥

another dtm06 class photo. sweet bye and bye to mr.lim.

obviously,im the one in liverpool shirt. ;)

Monday, November 13, 200611:57 PM♥

what necessity is there to dwell on the past,when the present is so much surer & the future is so much brighter - along with the silly samm chu?

again,i said "i love u samm" and again,she asked me why n i recollected that is wasnt polite for her to repeat her question. damn u.

but anyway,i thought it would be nice if i dedicate my blog to her once again.so here it goes..

she didnt tear when she lost her star stud,but she told me that if she lost the stud i gave her,she'll cry. (i saw my importance from here,hopefully not because of the price of the stud. duh!) ;)
she run the extra mile for me. i was shy to exit out of the pool and she actually took the towel for me so that i could cover....
alwys,we eat the same thing.
while shopping,she gives me frank opinion whether i-will-like-it-or-not. honesty,thats what i like about her.
she listens to my f languages but still laugh.
she accepts my weaknesses.
she uploaded my mp3 with the songs she likes... and took home for days.then bought me battery in return. (concern about every lil details,considerate,i like.)
she alwys start and end my day.
she calls me just to complain about certain things.. vice versa.
she protects me from cat. (thanks alot,for tolerating my phobia. cos i know u cant live w/o cats) still,damn u for that. ;p
she packed all my fav sweets in a packet to cheer me up. (skittles,snakes,bears,but i ended up giving out to the rest & she didnt mind).
she never mind me at all.
most importantly,she's straight. (laughs cheekily)
the above is only the least.and all these reminisces,and revelations about my felts only made me look forward for each day..samm,uve done alot alot for me. but i did nothing. if u were to ask me why i love u,its not the above actually. its just the feel. ;)

even for me,life has its gleams of sunshine.
n samm,u're my sunshine,my only sunshine,u make me happy.....

Wednesday, November 08, 20069:42 PM♥

i like this day;i like that sky of steel;i like the sternness and stillness of the world under this frost. but i dont think i like u. if i ever have the courage to,i will say it into ur bloody look-young-but-not-young-face. i tell you - and u may mark my words - you will come some day to a craggy state, where the whole of ur life's stream will be broken up into whirl and tumult, foam and noise : either u will be dashed into atoms on crag points, or lifted up and borne on by some master-wave into a calmer current - as i am now. reflect.

as a male,according to your age,should be matured enough, disappoints me. always showing the kind of faces yet not explaining why. when ure high,u smile like an idiot. when ure not, u fuck everyone upside down. and i mean EVERYONE.pointing middle finger with real bad intentions when others had good intentions in wishing u well.. then,afraid of somethings,u apologised.forgiven,u went back to old self. full of shit-pride,u think u can conquer all,then why arent ur results showing? u claim all the credits but wheres ur wits? am i making it obvious who the devil are u? call us names when we've done nothing wrong to u.. say u hate this hate that hate her hate him hate them... dont be surprised they hate u too. worried that i will be knifed by my frens? perhaps not. im worried about u instead. i thought u were loyal.. not now. after all ,what u shared with me were all gossips about everyone else, even ur bros. what a thing to do. seriously, theres too much if i were to comment everything about u. nv have i seen a person like u. so why are there still ppl ard u? easy.. they already accepted your bad-self.. oh my,isnt it sad that way. by the way, enough of all ur sarcasms to me. calling me short, criticising about my friends,my dialect and so on.. u alwys have things to say about others, so why dont u look into the mirror and ask urself " how great am i?"

often,we pple have to reflect before we can critique about others. honestly,i did, before i made up my mind to blog this. because,i realised,i have none of the above. im not a devil. deceit is indeed a sad fault in u.

then,i resolved to pioneer my way through difficulty..telling myself : aftr this entry,im not going to get upset by u anymore.
im just worn out with the torture of thought that u think u are alwys right.
though i think u will never pass by this "low class",lousy english blog,still,everything in this entry is for u. cousin xx said," nice appearance but without a soul",to me, u have none of the two. start searching ur soul...
and stop pointing ur middle finger(s) or any other provocative gestures.

Thursday, November 02, 200611:20 PM♥

smiles. this 2 lads are crashing over at my place tml.

now,
just some lines to penetrate my thoughts.
Exhibiting a desire or willingness to please and help others has been my nature and habits. However, i realised,others contrary to that. they continue taking advantages,harboring the thought that "jaws is forever nice & she wont mind".People,if i were to speak,i make sure u dont have the time to think if u should mind me or not. i learnt that even though u are nice to some,they really dont have to return the kindness. so who were nice to me when i needed that lil help? people who dont give a damn called,"friendship" or simply love taking advantages on others,in any kind,now..count 1 2 3 and f off from this site.
:)

mortification i suffered from knowing a few of u.
i really dont bother if im generally liked or not,as im not born to please everyone.
no time.

yesterday:
went to hilton hotel for wedding dinner. erm, how did i end up being involved?
paternal side -cousin's principle's son's wedding. also my distant relatives.
almost every guests were hakkas.im proud being one. im glad,i could comprehend those conversations. in the midst of learning it well at present.
apart from that,i actually felt weird when people called me,"qian jing xiao jie".
manners and etiquette were carried out well on the other hand..
those were trained for 18 years.

today:
i thought classmate fir was a lil humorous..
it was 4.55pm i think.
for some of them,class started 8am in the morning,thus the fatigue faces.
nobody really paid full attention then.
fir then told ms wells," cher,u work office hours right? so now, going to 5pm. office hours is 9-5.maybe u should knock off."

btw,we were supposed to end at 545pm.
so we laughed.me,the loudest. (aiyah as usual,cannot control)
thanks to fir,it actually woke us up as we were on the way to lala land..

the other day:
mr foo,mind u,not mr fool..
he is our pms (property mangament system) tutor.
so,we were asked to book a reservation by the guest name,kok.
as he was checking through the main screen whether we followed the right path,he suddenly uttered, "HOW COME I GOT 2 KOK". bingo,the class went mad laughing.
he then said," dont be naughty ar...".

tomorrow:
gym and driving. cant make it to vivo with jane n xx thus, invited them for a sleepover. yes! long gone were the days when they came n crash.. we gon cuddle up tight,squeeze on that sofa,watch how to lose a guy in 10 days,then tell about everything under the moon.. ;) cant wait.

on sleeping,i continued in dreams the idea to fly away.
i continued also the wish to be with you but experienced the windings of the unknown road instead.The state of obscuirty environed me.
-If any reason i should feel glad now will be the reason of my lines being told.

Wednesday, November 01, 20061:31 AM♥

one perfect example when people turns morally excellent and treat u exceedingly different when they are in their bad times and they need u to turn around their fortune.

uncle tom asked me to read his text message for him. i laughed as i read,,,it stated "i thank u very much for everything.you are a good man. how are u? have u been good? how is your family? are they healthy? i never forget your family. how is your business? i hope everything is good. by the way, can i return u your money next month? im very tied this month. thank you very much. i know u are very understanding and good. i really hope your life is good. and i pray that u are healthy always. thank you for understanding me. u are really a good person. god bless and protect you forever.and i am tim."

as u can read,a favour is being asked for.
so uncle tom let out a sigh. i assumed it alwys happen to him..
on the other hand,i told uncle tom to be benevolent as i hope that there wont be another mrt suicidal case. im suffering from paranoia each time i take the train.
having that lil vague sense of insecurity..
*prays hard*

its the first of november already.
time to rush for things that are supposed to be accomplished in 2006.
time to be over and done with all the guilts and regrets.
another new month. celebrates.